The Diary of Jane
by xXJerBear2Xx
Summary: In the midst of a tough case, Jane Rizzoli just wants to relax. One to many questions from a certain individual from her past causes Jane to snap at the person that least deserves her anger, but it opens a door for some insightful revelations. Songfic by Breaking Benjamin's Diary of Jane.


_**Here is a new one shot to tide people over until I can get my new story posted. I wrote this a while ago while listening to Breaking Ben's Diary of Jane on repeat and just suddenly was struck with an idea. Now, I just decided to post it on a whim...much to the urging of my friend NightmareWalker. I recommend listening to both versions of Diary of Jane or rather anything by Breaking Benjamin!**_

 _ **I don't own Rizzoli & Isles or Breaking Benjamin's song The Diary of Jane. Any Grammar and spelling errors that I missed are mine.**_

* * *

 _ **The Diary of Jane**_

 _Something's getting in the way._

 _Something's just about to break._

 _I will try to find my place in the Diary of Jane_

 _So tell me how it should be_

Maura stood by watching her best friend, Jane Rizzoli, sitting on the couch nearly downing an entire bottle of beer in one gulp. It had been a seriously tough case; triple homicide, while Jane was running on little to no sleep. Add to that Casey coming back even after he had left that final time. Maura wanted to actually hit the man for his audacity and bravado kicking the door down once more on Jane's life after she had let him go finally.

Apparently, Case couldn't take a hint and just leave the homicide detective alone. It was frustrating for Maura to see Jane retract and close herself off like she did when Jane shot herself. The honey blonde would be standing by; ready to knock down the wall if she had to, no matter how angry Jane was with her.

Perhaps, Maura really cared about her best friend; sometimes going as far as to think about the two of them being more than just being best friends. Maura wanted to hug and comfort Jane, telling her that everything would be fine. The medical examiner just frowned when Jane growled in irritation at something.

"Jane? Perhaps, maybe it would be a good idea if you got some rest."

The woman in question whirled around quickly, glaring at the honey blonde woman.

"I don't need to sleep. I don't need anything! I don't need people telling me what I should and shouldn't do! What I need is a people off my " The detective hollered, finally snapping having enough of just everybody for the past four days.

Jane knew she shouldn't have raised her voice at Maura because the honey blonde was only trying to help. Jane was just so…pissed. The case she was currently working on right now was a triple homicide case. It was was excruciating considering two of the victims were just twin teenage boys who had everything going for them athletically and academically. The other victim was their father. They had hit a dead end on a lead. That wasn't even the best part of Jane's day, Casey came back from wherever he was stationed and demanded she explain some things to him about the baby she lost and reasons why not to marry him, face to face. Jane didn't want to get into it right then because she was working the triple homicide. Casey went as far as demanding they should sit down and talk about it right then and there at the precinct. He didn't understand she had work to do. Jane had to get justice for the widow who would never see her husband or her sons again.

It was just so damned frustrating for Jane because she had finally turned a new page in her life and felt lighter after she accepted the loss of her unborn baby, moving on from the soldier and most of all moved on from the devastating blow of losing Barry Frost. She asked her mother for advice and of course Angela said to talk to Casey or go out with him to hear him out. Jane didn't want to do that; she just wanted him out of her life. Casey wanted her to listen to what he had to say and told her to meet him tonight at the Robber but Jane skipped it, going straight to Maura's instead.

After Maura learned about Casey coming back, she had those second thoughts of Jane going back to him after all he's put her through. Maura got scared when she had seen Casey because he was standing right by Jane's desk as she tried to work, ignoring his presence. The medical examiner closed her eyes tightly when she remembered how she broke down when Jane had announced she was engaged to Casey. Yes, Maura could still remember it. She left the morgue in tears; leaving behind a stunned and dumbfounded Jane when she had asked, where would she be without her best friend. It was at that moment when Casey returned, Maura wandered if she would still be in Jane's life. Maura stood her ground approaching Jane in the living room. She wasn't going to let the homicide detective hide behind her walls.

"I wasn't telling you that you needed to rest. I merely suggested that you should get some rest, Jane."

Jane sighed sadly and heavily, "Sorry. Rough week. I didn't mean to snap at you, Maur."

The medical examiner gave Jane a small smile as she approached and grabbed the detective's hands because Jane kept clenching them.

"You should have gone to the Robber to see what Casey wanted."

"No. I've closed that book in my life and moved on. I've accepted it. I accepted losing my baby and I finally accepted that Frost isn't coming back. Casey is the past. I don't want to relive the past. I've spent so much time in the past; I just want to move forward. If he really wants to talk to me, he'll talk to me when I'm not trying to solve a triple homicide. I wish he'd get the hint that I don't wanna talk to him. He did the same thing to me when he'd go through hot and cold phases where I had no idea how to react or respond to him giving me the cold shoulder. So why not give him a taste of his own damn medicine. It doesn't help that Ma thinks should go out with him again. Whatever. I'm done. I just want to leave it in the past."

Maura just hugged Jane, feeling the detective instantly sag against her; the exhaustion weighing down Jane's shoulders and her adrenaline slowly ebbing away the longer Maura's arms stayed wrapped around her upper body. "Maybe I am a bit tired. I think I could sleep for a week." Jane replied. The honey blonde chuckled before she backed off.

"Thanks Maura."

"Anytime Jane. You should stay over for the night. You already have Jo over here while you were still on the case since you couldn't be home. I do not think you should be driving home even after nearly downing your beer in record time _or_ in your state of exhaustion. Doctor's orders."

Jane chuckled softly all while smiling tiredly, "I suppose if they are Doctor Isles' orders."

"Come on Jane. Bed time."

After alternating for the shower, changing, taking Jo Friday out, and doing their nightly routine, both women were ready for bed and lying on the king sized bed just talking. Maura really wanted Jane to sleep but the detective was stubborn. Well, Maura knew that Jane was stubborn.

"Can I turn the radio on? I don't think I can sleep without some ambient noise. Its just too quiet."

"Of course Jane. As long as it's not Led Zeppelin."

"Seriously, what the hell do you have against Led Zeppelin? One of these damn days, I am going to get you to listen to their album Mother Ship." The detective said before she rolled out from under the covers heading over to the stereo in Maura's room and turned it on, looking for a sufficient enough radio station that would play rock throughout the night.

" _ **And here is Breaking Benjamin's acoustic version of The Diary of Jane off their album Phobia.**_ " The radio announcer said before they did a whole 93.5 Boston Rock Radio or something before the song started. Jane stared at the stereo omitting this acoustic rock song. Jane just shrugged herself. Personally, she wouldn't have minded Metallica or Pantera; hell even some AC/DC but she supposed Breaking Benjamin would do for now. The detective lumbered headed back to the bed and climbed in before snuggling into the pillows and slowly drifted off to dream land.

Maura listened to the words and lyrics from this band Breaking Benjamin. The more the medical examiner listened to the piano with the lead singer's soft singing. She couldn't help but feel the song was describing how she was feeling right at the moment ever since Casey came back into Jane's life. It had hit her right in the gut, as Jane would say. She tried her hardest not to let the song lyrics get to her but it didn't help all that well seeing as a few tears escaped.

Jane was still hyper aware that Maura was still awake even when she was half asleep. However, once she heard Maura sniffle, Jane's dark eyes opened looking at the outline of Maura lying beside her under the covers. It was like a knee jerk reaction; she pulled the other woman to her and made sure Maura was all good. Oh yes, Jane had been listening to the lyrics. The irony wasn't lost on her either that her name was in the song. Jane had interpreted the song and it's lyrics to something totally different. She thought of it as a metaphor for her heart and Maura already held, The Diary of Jane in the palms of her hands.

"Maura." She said.

The medical examiner just turned her head looking at the detective.

"You will never have to look for your place in my diary. You won't have to burn any pages or look for other ways in. Nobody will ever tell you how it should or shouldn't be. Not Casey, Not Ma, Not Frankie, Not Korsak, Constance, Hope, or any others. Fuck what anyone says, you are already beside me and will always be by my side. You will _always_ have a place in my diary."

Maura couldn't help it; more tears fell. "I will never have to find my place in The Diary of Jane Rizzoli?"

Jane just shook her head no and pulled the medical examiner in closer in her embrace and planted a kiss on Maura's forehead.

"Never. You already hold my diary in your hands. You are the only one who can read it and hold it. I trust you with it more than I would anyone else. You've repaired it god knows how many times after all the shit we've been through and not once have I said thank you. So…thank you, Maura. You deserve all the right to hold my diary in your hands and close to you because it's yours. Always has been I suppose." The detective said before song finally ended.

Maura took a deep breath and she was going to admit it. She needed to because she just couldn't keep it inside anymore.

"I love you, Jane Rizzoli." Jane, still wide awake a little bit knew exactly what Maura was going to say that. She didn't even hesitate.

"I love you too, Maura Isles. I think I always have. I was just a dumb-ass who didn't open my eyes."

 _Something's getting in the way._

 _Something's just about to break._

 _I will try to find my place in the Diary of Jane_

 _As I burn another page_

 _As I look the other way_

 _I still try to find my place in the Diary of Jane._

* * *

 ** _Man, I love metaphors! That's the beauty of music is you can interpret anyway you choose. Breaking Benjamin is one of my favorites and Diary of Jane is in my top 20 favorite songs. I figured I'd write something using this song and Rizzoli & Isles. _**

**_Until Next time_**


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